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Musing - 'Dill wallon ki Dilli or Namma Bengaluru?'

Right after I got married in April, 2015 my world multiplied in so many ways. It was not just moving cities for me but a lot more than that. I still get amused seeing my tongue dance on the tune of Masala Dosa, Filter Coffee, Pudi Idly and Nagarjuna Biryani. Where on one side Aloo and Gobhi Parathas were sulking on the tragic end of their love story with me, there were dozens of other elements brewing along.


This is a story of my journey from North to South, head to toe which gave a whole new meaning to my cocooned bubble of thoughts.


Most of us remember the first time we rode a cycle. That moment you looked back and realized nobody was holding it and you were riding it, when you knew it was all you. That joy when you realize an exciting feeling spreading allover your gut, perhaps a feeling that is best described as being free? There exist a million moments like these, ones we want to relive again and again. And where such countless feelings recite I call that my Home.


Like on the occasion of Janamashtami every year, from fasting a day before Lord Krishna's birthday to making Charnamrit & Panjeeri in Prasad, my father would dedicate days and nights to teach me about Hindu Mythology. Dressing up in a fancy Indian outfit waiting for a call out from fellow colony friends, I couldn't wait to go and collect my Kanjak from neighborhood houses. Waking up to the hustle bustle of workers setting up stalls in the Raamleela Maidan to listing "Suno suno shri raam kahani chants" playing in the maidan which started right at 4 pm everyday. From getting excited for birthday shopping with mom and dad to treating friends a couple of joy rides in Raamleela Mela. Hence, Home to me was not just staying with parents or in a small town; but becoming a tree from a seed over the years with having watered with countless beautiful moments.


Where my spoon was still full of such dearest stories, my heart had its own hiccup to welcome the new chapter of life. So, how could I call Bangalore my home when the older memories were still overpowering that little space in my heart? I was still contemplating the change which came along and my mind was ceaselessly working on putting things to prospective. Bangalore was different, there was no Raamleela ground in front of the house, my husband didn't like curd in his Aloo Chaat where my portion was incomplete without it. I never heard a call out from any local sabzi walle bhaiya's (vegetable vendors), people here didn't know the joy of waiting for those 10 days of the year when you get to eat False and Shehtoot (Falsa fruit & king of Mulberries). Nothing looked similar to what I left back. My heart was sinking and it was onerous for me to call it my new Home.


And, as if this wasn't enough, during an interview in 2016 a recruiter asked me- Hello Miss!"Where are you from?". Giving voice to my Innocence I uttered ,' Hi!! My name is Raghvi and I am from Ghaziabad (Delhi-NCR), married to a Bangalorean boy now'. With that grin on his face he said, 'Ah! Got you, so I can call you a Bangalorean now!'.


Musing all night - Is it a city which makes it difficult to let go of some deeply weaved memories or is it the people you live with make it worthwhile?


Just like how a 90's born kid would say,'Those were the times when we worshiped our weekend routines, from waiting for morning Mahabharata telecast every sunday with a plate full of pipping hot Jalebi's and Samosa's to watching Govinda movies in the evening which would bring giggles, those were the days. Our summers were mostly spent pulling out "Best of 4 Paper Chits" which would decide our next travel plan by the best navigator in the team of four; {which was Me, my Mother, my Mamu (maternal uncle) and the navigator himself (my Father)}. Whether it was just a shoot up to Delhi Monuments or covering 2000 kms by road, everything was planned like a nit-picker, and in no time it became coon's age ritual for us.

A squeal of such more incidents kept happening, when someone again asked me whats the dearest thing to you from Ghaziabad/Delhi? and my 'North side of mind' got thrown-off balance as if someone asked me if living was possible without breathing. I didn't know where to start from, where Ghaziabad was so close to my heart, Delhi was no less. Most of the days went by jumping into muddy puddles and playing backyard games of ring around the roses at home. It was where I learned to love the shine of a campfire over that of a diamond, perhaps that's the thing about a small town girl and my hands were full of such moments of joy. From driving to Lovely Cuski at India Gate, our quick stopovers at UPSC Chaat stall, having Paan at Oden, a random car racing fun with work colleagues around Akshardham Temple while driving back home, to the curio shop at Khan Market filled to the brim with garlands in the weeks before Diwali it was more than just lanes and streets of Delhi, to me.


It was in a month of June 2016 when I flew to visit my parents, my mother as she knows me best, prepared me the most favorite spread for lunch which not only fueled me up but brought back so many childhood memories. I loved every second spent at home and was in a complete state of bliss. Just when we all wrapped up and were walking towards the living area, my 'South side of the brain' demanded for a hot cup of it, after all, what is a great lunch without a hot cup of Tea! Ah! So, satisfying. The sight of me lounging on the sofa and enjoying every sip of it took my parents to a big surprise.!!

My silent love for Chai was a sign of evolution.

In moments of surprise we catch at least a glimpse of the joy to which gratefulness opens the door. And for me that was my moment. Just from being someone who never enjoyed having Tea to questioning everything, even the seemingly irrelevant things, that afternoon then sounded like, 'How can you all not have mint chutney with the meals, Isn't your week incomplete without having a bowl of idly dipped in sambhar, what was the weather in Bangalore like during a specific incident and how I wished it be the same in Ghaziabad'. It was all so detailed second-by-second narration in my head that I was already sounding like a complete Bangalorean. As they say, life is made of small moments like these.


In no time I changed my tune and brewed some fresh coffee in the filter while my head had already decided to make some Bisibelebath for dinner. As the day went by, we kept talking about different cultures and how deeply they get rooted within ourselves. Just in a days time I had made amply changes in the kitchen that I really had to force myself to stop after a point.

Bangalore had finally become Home!

This is when I realized there was a life beyond Mc Donalds Burgers, when I got introduced to some amazing locally made ones, when fresh air mattered more than being indoors- my husband used to take me out for walks around the city which initially seemed impossible but later got into a daily habit. Have you all got a chance to experience a South India wedding? Uff! The elegance and simplicity oozes out from their rituals, right from the food being served on Banana leafs to people forming into lines just to greet the married couple.


Just a year into marriage and my heart was full of new memories, equally dear to me. So, did it actually take me a trip back home to realize I had another home too? It was difficult to articulate. From missing the Club culture; sitting pool side and having the most amazing glass of Filter coffee with some Medu Vadas on the side to going for long walks along Lake side, it all seemed like I was living that life for so long.


Some realizations come to you with such experiences and I feel my journey has just begun. I still get confused when I am asked to name a place where I belong to. I feel, I am like a bird, not defined by name, place or thing but time, destiny and experiences.


Now my days starts with a Hot cup of Tea but breakfasts are still incomplete without Methi Parathas. (Human brain is divided into two sides: Right side & Left side; in my case I prefer to call it North side & South side, however, I am still exploring which side of mine is more dominant!)


And the story continues....


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